CLASSIC DEFINITIONS

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ...

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Kalam -e- Khwaja Azizul Hassan Majzoob (ra)

Jahan mein hain ibrat kay har so namunay,

Maghar tujh ko undha kiya rang-o-buu nay,

Kabhi ghor say bhi yeh dekha hai tunay?

Jo aabad thay woh mahal abb hain sunay.

جہاں میں ہیں عبرت کے ہر سُو نمونے

مگر تجھ کو اندھا کیا رنگ و بُو نے

کبھی غور سے بھی دیکھا ہے تو نے

جو معمور تھے وہ محل اب ہیں سُونے

Many examples are there of taking heed in the world

But the sight and sound has made you blind..

Have you ever pondered on this aspect?

The castles which were once liven in are now deserted

Jaga Jee Lagaanay Ki Dunya Nahi Hai,

Yeh ibrat ki jah hai tamasha nahi hai.

جگہ جی لگانے کی دنیا نہیں ہے

یہ عبرت کی جا ہے تماشہ نہیں ہے

World is not a place of heartly affiliations

This is a place of heed, it is not a jest…

Mile khaak main ahl-e-shaan kaise kaise,

Makeen ho gaye la makaan kesay kesay,

Hue name-war pe nishaan kaise kaise,

Zamin khagayi nojwaan kaisay kaisay.

ملے خاک میں اہلِ شاں کیسے کیسے

مکیں ہو گٔیٔے لا مکاں کیسے کیسے

ھؤے ناموَر بے نشاں کیسے کیسے

زمیں کھا گٔیٔ نوجواں کیسے کیسے

Many people of status have now mixed with earth

Many with homes are now homeless

Many people of big name have become nameless

Many types of people have been engulfed by earth

Ajal nay na kisra hi choda na dara,

Issi say Sikander safate behara(pe hara),

Har ek leke kya kya na hasrat sidhara,

Pada rehgaya sab yunhi thaat sara.

اجل نے نہ کسریٰ ہی چھوڑا نہ دارا

اسی پہ سکندر فاتح بھی ہارا

ہر ایک چھوڑ کے کیا حسرت سدھارا

پڑا رہ گیا سب یہیں کھاٹ سارا

Time did not leave Kisraa to be!

To this same “time” Alexander got defeated

Every one left behind their wishes and left

All that will be left here (in this world)

Tujhay pehlay bachpan mein barsoon khilaya,

Jawani nay phir tujhko majnu banaya,

Burhapay nay phir aakay kia kia sitaya,

Ajal tera kerday gi bilkul sifaya.

تجھے پہلے بچپن میں برسوں کھلایا

جوانی میں پھر تجھ کو مجنوں بنایا

بڑھاپے نے پھر آ کے کیا کیا ستایا

اجل تیرا کر دے گی بالکل صفایا

First it made you play in the childhood

In the youth it made you a lover

Old age then troubled you so much

“Time” will clear you completely

Yehi tujhko dhun hai rahoon sab say bala,

Ho zeenat nirali ho fashion nirala,

Jiya karta hai kia yoonhi mernay wala?

Tujay husnay zahir nay dhokay main dala.

یہی تجھ کو دھُن ہے رہُوں سب سے بالا

ہو زینت نرالی ہو فیشن نرالا

جیا کرتا ہے کیا یونہی مرنے والا؟

تجھے حسنِ ظاہر نے دھوکے میں ڈالا

You are over concerned that you stay above all

That you have definitive beauty and a definitive fashion

Is this the way anyone lives who (knows) he will die?

You got deceived with the apparent beauty

Woh hau aish-o-eishrat ka koi mahal bhi?

Jahan taak mein har ghari ho ajal bhi,

Bus ab apnay is jehal say tu nikal bhi,

Yeh tarzay maeshat ab apna badal bhi.

وُہ ہے عیش و عشرت کا کؤی محل بھی؟

جہاں ساتھ میں کھڑی ہو اجل بھی

بس اب اس جہالت سے تُو نکل بھی

یہ طرزِ معیشت اب اپنا بدل بھی

Is that castle of lofty life even a castle

When there is “Time” standing next to it

Enough now! Come out of this ignorance

And change this way of earning of yours

Yeh duniya-e-fani hai mehboob tujhko,

Hui wah kya cheez marghub tujhkom,

Nahin aqal itni bhi majzoob tujhko,

Samajh lena ab chahiye khoob tujhko.

یہ دنیأے فانی ہے محبوب تجھ کو

ہؤی واہ کیا چیز مرغوب تجھ کو

نہی عقل اتنی بھی مجزوب تجھ کو

سمجھ لینا چاہیے اب خوب تجھ کو

This finite world is beloved to you

Its amazing what (thing) has become your (means of) pleasure

Do you, O drowned one (in its endeavors) not have intelligence?

You should have understood it by now!

Burr`hapay say paa kar payam-e-qaza bhi,

Na chaunka na cheeta na samnbhla zara bhi,

Koi teri ghaflat ki hai inteha bhi,

Junoon chor kar apnay hoshon main aa bhi.

بڑھاپے میں پا کے پیامِ قضا بھی

نہ چونکا نہ چیتا نہ سمبھلا ذرا بھی

کؤی تیری غفلت کی ہے انتہا بھی؟

جنون چھوڑ کر اپنے ہوش آ بھی

In the old age, even after realizing your destiny

You didn’t jolted, neither corrected your ways

Is there a limit to your ignorance..?

Leave this obsession and become aware!

Jab is bazm say chal diye dost aksar,

Aur uthtay chalay ja rahay hain baraabar,

Har waqt paish-e-nazar hai yeh manzar,

Yahan par tera dil behelta hai kionkar.

جب اِس بزم سے دوست چل دیے اکثر

اور اُٹھے چلے جا رہے ہیں برابر

ہر وقت پیشِ نظر ہے یہ منظر

یہاں پر تِرا دل بہلتا ہے کیونکر

When all the friends have departed from this world

And continuously they are leaving still,

The view is in front of you as always..

Then (knowing all that) why does your heart is satisfied with it?

Jahan main kahin shor-e-maatam bapa hai,

Kahin fikr-o-faqah say aah-o-baqa hai,

Kahin shikwa`jor-o-makr-o-dawa hai,

Gharz har taraf say yehi bas sada hai.

جہاں میں کہیں شورِ ماتم بپا ہے

کہیں فِکر و فاقہ سے آہ و بکا ہے

کہیں شکوہ جور و مکر و دغا ہے

ہر ہر طرف سے بس یہی صدا ہے

There are screams and cries all around the world

Some cry out of destituteness and some of hunger

Some complain of deceipt and fraud

From all corners, thus is all the calling…

Jaga Ji Lagaanay Ki Dunya Nahi Hai,

Yeh ibrat ki jah hai tamasha nahi hai.

جگہ جی لگانے کی دنیا نہیں ہے

یہ عبرت کی جا ہے تماشہ نہیں ہے

World is not a place of heartly affiliations

This is a place of heed, it is not a jest…

~ Rumi

I said: what about my eyes?
God said: Keep them on the road.

I said: what about my passion?
God said: Keep it burning.

I said: what about my heart?

God said: Tell me what you hold inside it?

I said: pain and sorrow?

He said: ..stay with it.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you. ~ Rumi